We have a follow-up ultrasound today to check out a bunch of things that have been eating away at my brain for the past couple of months. So, of course, I’ve been sleeping like crap and fretting over every little twinge for about the same period of time.
It’s frustrating. As much as I tell myself that the baby will be fine, I’ll be fine, and (yay!) we might get to see if this will be a boy or a girl, my brain just wants to obsess about the “what if’s” and keep me up at night. I’m a planner and this feeling of emotional limbo is really making it hard to get motivated to get ready for May. About the only thing I’ve really gotten ready so far is an amazing stash of birth-18lb cloth diapers, covers, and a few new handknit-by-me wool covers.
Today we’re going in to recheck the spine measurements for the baby (who was lovely and uncooperative in December), see if my cyst (which shouldn’t get bigger in pregnancy but did) has changed, get a better look at our baby’s kidneys, and hopefully get to see if we’re having a boy or a girl this time. I’m excited, nervous and scared. It was around this point when I was pregnant with #2 that we went in for a routine follow-up ultrasound and found that #2 had grade IV hydronephrosis, which threw all of our plans for a loop and resulted in a less than favorable birth experience. He’s fine — it’s never been a problem for him, thankfully, but I’m still recovering from the whole experience.
I can’t help but worry that, everything we’re looking at being fine, something will be wrong.
What am I hoping for? A healthy, average (not large like #2 LOL) baby to show up at the appointment today. My cyst will have magically vanished (okay, I can tell you now that one won’t happen but it’s still an hour until my appointment, right?). Baby’s kidneys will look absolutely normal. Nothing requiring further follow-up will be found.
And “boy or girl”? I’ll take happy and healthy over any specific gender, but my gut is telling me girl — mostly because having a girl invokes “Murphy’s Law” in our teeny, tiny house. We’d have to eventually figure out different sleeping arrangements for the kids and I already have years’ worth of boy clothing, toys, and other gear.
Before he left for school this morning, #2 bent down to talk to my belly and said, “you better show them your bum today!”
Baby was uncooperative again and we weren’t able to get spinal measurements. The tech wasn’t concerned though from what she could see — she was just unable to get one complete measurement due to baby’s positioning. I’ll find out about the kidneys next week – I could see them, but I’m not a doctor and don’t know what they should look like right now. My cyst hasn’t changed and might even be smaller and…
…it’s a BOY! I’m so excited — as nice as a girl would have been, I’m not ready to be done with baby boys just yet. I know how they work, I have all the stuff, and I’m very much a “mom of boys” in many ways. The only downside of having a third boy is that we have to pick a name. Most of the names we both like were already vetoed when choosing names for the first two, so this will get interesting.