I read this post on BlogHer and it really resonated with me. With no offense intended towards any of my friends, I’ve often felt this way.
Don’t get me wrong, I know some amazing women whom I am honored to call friends — some of them dearly close to me, a few whom I’ve known for most of my life — but I have always longed to find a Diana to my Anne. Someone close enough to be a sister.
I don’t have a sister. I’m older than my brother by 3 years. We grew up in a rural area where there were no girls within easy walking/cycling distance. I relied on Sunday School and the school playground for my female contact, but it always seemed like everyone was already paired off into happy little twosomes.
In Grade 2, I did meet a girl I clicked with like this, though. She liked to pretend the way I liked to pretend, we were both children of great imagination. She moved and we lost touch. From time to time, I wonder what she’s doing now, if we’re still as similar as we were then. I admit to Googling her name, but I suspect she married and her surname has changed. Sora, if you see this, drop me an email — I’d love to touch base.
I’ve a few enduring friendships that trace back to later elementary school, one in particular that is very special to me, but she and I willingly move in and out of each other’s lives and this just seems to be what works for our friendship. I often joke that we became friends because we didn’t fit into just one of any of the cliques at school — we were an odd combination of band geek, track & field kid, “good student” — too fluid to be tethered to any one group. We graduated, went to different schools, moved out of province and have been falling in and out of each other’s lives in the most wonderful way for the past 15+ years.
At 36, I have pretty much given up hope of making that sort of connection. I think those bonds are made (or not made) in childhood. Sometimes I wonder if it’s why I’m often uncomfortable in the companionship of women — as though there’s a rule book I wasn’t given and that’s why I don’t understand the subtexts and undercurrents.
I’m not sad about this, it’s fine. Really. As I mentioned, I have a lot of wonderful friends whom I care about very much. I may not have found a single “bosom buddy”, but I’m confident in saying I’ve found my tribe.