Archive for the ‘Baby!’ Category

2014 has been a year. Not to wish the remaining four months away, I hope I’ve had all the bad news I’m going to get.

There’s only so much a gal can take.

While the miscarriage in the Spring rocked me, the sudden and unexpected death of my brother — my only sibling — in July has changed the map of my world forever. I’m still too raw to write about it — it will need time to settle before I can commit my feelings to words.

Timing being what it is, I found out about his death on the heels of an ultrasound to confirm a pregnancy I hadn’t expected so soon. Joy followed by grief, life followed by death — the juxtaposition wasn’t lost on me. There is an order to things, a sometimes awful balance.

I had repeat ultrasounds for several weeks, checking on growth, heartbeat, and health, eventually realizing it was time to register with my midwives.

Blomidon, Nova Scotia

Blomidon, Nova Scotia

At 11wks, as I prepared for my three week trip to Nova Scotia to be with my family for my brother’s memorial, I asked them if I should have any concerns, given my history. Reassured that everything would be fine, I packed up my kids and my friend and her kids into my Suburban and headed for the coast. Of course, no road for me lately has seemed smooth, so on the last weekend there I ended up in Emergency with subchorionic bleeding.

(more…)

Read Full Post »

I don’t write much about breastfeeding. In fact, a quick search of my blog only uncovered two breastfeeding-specific posts. One was about my older boys’ curiosity about their baby brother, and the other about extended breastfeeding.

Breastfeeding is just something I do with my babies. Nothing more, nothing less.

(more…)

Read Full Post »

Today is Pregnancy And Infant Loss Awareness Day. I have never marked this day in the past. I’m not terribly sentimental about this sort of thing, having had several miscarriages over the past number of years, but all the memorial posts and such in my Facebook news feed and Twitter stream this morning came at a bit of a bad time.

Boy #3, 4 weeks old
June 2010

Earlier this year I had an unexpected pregnancy that resulted, 11 weeks later, in an unanticipated miscarriage. This coming Saturday, my 17th wedding anniversary, was my EDD. I should be 39wks pregnant right now and the reality that I’m not is sitting rather heavy this week. I’m doing okay, I am, but the loss of the idea is still a little raw. Fall is a wonderful time to have a baby. My friends are having babies.

I’m not having a baby.

(more…)

Read Full Post »

My head and my heart aren’t on speaking terms right now. They’re engaged in battle with each other. I’m not sure there will be a winner.

(more…)

Read Full Post »

Older Posts »

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 202 other followers