Archive for the ‘Baby!’ Category

I don’t write much about breastfeeding. In fact, a quick search of my blog only uncovered two breastfeeding-specific posts. One was about my older boys’ curiosity about their baby brother, and the other about extended breastfeeding.

Breastfeeding is just something I do with my babies. Nothing more, nothing less.

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Today is Pregnancy And Infant Loss Awareness Day. I have never marked this day in the past. I’m not terribly sentimental about this sort of thing, having had several miscarriages over the past number of years, but all the memorial posts and such in my Facebook news feed and Twitter stream this morning came at a bit of a bad time.

Boy #3, 4 weeks old
June 2010

Earlier this year I had an unexpected pregnancy that resulted, 11 weeks later, in an unanticipated miscarriage. This coming Saturday, my 17th wedding anniversary, was my EDD. I should be 39wks pregnant right now and the reality that I’m not is sitting rather heavy this week. I’m doing okay, I am, but the loss of the idea is still a little raw. Fall is a wonderful time to have a baby. My friends are having babies.

I’m not having a baby.

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My head and my heart aren’t on speaking terms right now. They’re engaged in battle with each other. I’m not sure there will be a winner.

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 Credit: Trish Robicheau  -  Image used with permission.

Credit: Trish Robicheau – Image used with permission.

There are moments in all our lives from which we cannot go back, moments that leave us forever changed or transformed, points of metamorphosis that we can rail against or embrace.

Pregnancy is one of these thresholds; birth is a doorway through which no woman emerges unchanged. (more…)

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