2014 has been a year. Not to wish the remaining four months away, I hope I’ve had all the bad news I’m going to get.
There’s only so much a gal can take.
While the miscarriage in the Spring rocked me, the sudden and unexpected death of my brother — my only sibling — in July has changed the map of my world forever. I’m still too raw to write about it — it will need time to settle before I can commit my feelings to words.
Timing being what it is, I found out about his death on the heels of an ultrasound to confirm a pregnancy I hadn’t expected so soon. Joy followed by grief, life followed by death — the juxtaposition wasn’t lost on me. There is an order to things, a sometimes awful balance.
I had repeat ultrasounds for several weeks, checking on growth, heartbeat, and health, eventually realizing it was time to register with my midwives.
At 11wks, as I prepared for my three week trip to Nova Scotia to be with my family for my brother’s memorial, I asked them if I should have any concerns, given my history. Reassured that everything would be fine, I packed up my kids and my friend and her kids into my Suburban and headed for the coast. Of course, no road for me lately has seemed smooth, so on the last weekend there I ended up in Emergency with subchorionic bleeding.
Oh, how Murphy taunts me sometimes — whenever I start to relax and become complacent, it feels as though he comes along to kick me in the butt.
Murphy, if I ever meet you in a dark alley, don’t be surprised when I punch you. That was a whole lot of stress I really didn’t need.
Thankfully, it resolved itself in time for my return to Ottawa (alone! with three boys! — not nearly as eventful as one might think), and a 15wk u/s today to check on it shows it has reduced in size and that baby is moving and grooving, with a strong heartbeat, and is bang on for dates.
February 2015, here we come!
Oh, that timing thing?
The due date is smack between my birthday and my brother’s — both in February — and I wouldn’t have it any other way.