Posts Tagged ‘miscarriage’

Today is Pregnancy And Infant Loss Awareness Day. I have never marked this day in the past. I’m not terribly sentimental about this sort of thing, having had several miscarriages over the past number of years, but all the memorial posts and such in my Facebook news feed and Twitter stream this morning came at a bit of a bad time.

Boy #3, 4 weeks old
June 2010

Earlier this year I had an unexpected pregnancy that resulted, 11 weeks later, in an unanticipated miscarriage. This coming Saturday, my 17th wedding anniversary, was my EDD. I should be 39wks pregnant right now and the reality that I’m not is sitting rather heavy this week. I’m doing okay, I am, but the loss of the idea is still a little raw. Fall is a wonderful time to have a baby. My friends are having babies.

I’m not having a baby.

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My head and my heart aren’t on speaking terms right now. They’re engaged in battle with each other. I’m not sure there will be a winner.

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I had spotting this morning, so I called to book follow-up bloodwork for tomorrow. Despite all the reassurances from the clinic, I expect the inevitable. I think I’ve lost pretty much all faith in my body’s ability to stay pregnant and that totally sucks.

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I deliberated over whether or not this was something I wanted to share here yet. There are definate pros and cons to both sides of the issue but in the end I figured I’d post about it as, if it all went toes over nose, I’d want to feel free to post about bad news.

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