Posts Tagged ‘pregnancy’

I am about to tell you something that I couldn’t tell my friends or midwives at the time. I couldn’t even tell my husband, because I was scared if I said it out loud that it would be true.

Before #MissVee was born, I was afraid I wouldn’t love her.

Now that she is here, I feel I can say it out loud. It was a big fear of mine. For those who believe our brains can control our bodies, it could also be why she decided to wait 9 days past her estimated due date to make her appearance.

In terms of big psychological hang-ups, this one was pretty huge.

Last July, an unanticipated pregnancy was confirmed by early ultrasound. Two hours later, I found out that my brother died in a tragic motorcycle collision. My husband and older boys were out of town at camp and on a Scouts canoe trip — unreachable by phone. I was alone with my 4yr old. Frantic with grief, I holed up with my youngest and waited for the rest of my family to come home.

That week prevented me from attaching to my pregnancy.

I didn’t even try.

With my history of recurring pregnancy loss, and this pregnancy following hot on the heels of traumatic miscarriage at 12wks, I didn’t want to try. I steeled myself for another loss and got on with my life. I drove to Nova Scotia with my childhood best friend, her two boys and my three boys (all in one awesome Suburban, I will add) for my brother’s memorial service and to spend some time with my parents.

(more…)

Read Full Post »

Today I am 40 weeks and 3 days pregnant with my 4th child. It was never supposed to get to this point. In my mind, #BabyTheLast was supposed to scribble an “I wuz here” on the uterus wall and make her escape around 38 weeks.

Alas, she seems to prefer hanging out on the inside when I’d much rather have her on the outside.

Babies can be so inconsiderate.

40w3d (more…)

Read Full Post »

Warning: this post is a bit of a bummer.

According to my favourite due date calculator, I am 38 weeks and 4 days pregnant today. This is the final part of the final stretch.

30 weeks

The thing is, I wish this stretch was over already.

(more…)

Read Full Post »

I’m 35 weeks pregnant now. If my labour history holds true, I’ve about a month left in my pregnancy. This weekend I wrote up our massive “to do” list of things that need to be done before our baby arrives — before our daughter is born and fills that last little corner of our family.

It’s a long list.

It’s a really long list.

wraps456 (more…)

Read Full Post »

Older Posts »